Ask Dr. NerdLove: My Boyfriend Is Poly… And I’m Perhaps Maybe Not

Dear Doc,

i will be 10 months as a relationship by having a guy that is absolutely wonderful. Our company is suitable on virtually every degree, the chemistry between us is amazing, he really loves my children from the past wedding, and we’ve been speaking about the alternative of having hitched.

the thing is that he’s polyamorous and I’m not.

he had been currently in a relationship with an other woman whenever we began dating, and their relationship has proceeded. He sees her approximately almost every other weekend, although he wish to spend more time together with her. He’s also available to other relationships developing as time goes on. He’s got been honest and open about it right from the start.

No desire is had by me to be poly myself. This man checks just about any package to my “want from a relationship” list. But after going right on through two divorces due to my lovers’ infidelity, dating a poly man *hurts*. Everytime he’s gone for the week-end, we proceed through fits of anxiety predicated on my worries to be kept for another woman just as before. We generally either lash away until he gets back at him(we’ve had some epic fights over text messages) or I completely emotionally shut down. I’ve told him exactly just just how this impacts me personally, and for me, he says he shouldn’t have to change who he is or how he loves because of my insecurities while he understands this is hard. Continue reading